Destroy This After Reading
For spies - the thermal paper equivalent of Burn After Reading.
(The content in the photo is mostly from an Ian Fleming telegram of 1959, in which he imagined Hitchcock helming the fist Bond film. Just imagine Doctor North By Northwest.)
BERG already has a to do list and others are working on shinier things, and this is mine. Only three items. To help keep you focused, it is headed with something encouraging like the number of days of life that deathclock.com reckons you have left, or Churchill's "Action this day".
Foldy walky maps
Maps with directions on them to get you from A to B. The maps have dotted marks so you can fold them to make the map match the road turnings, like 2-D origami. I doubt this could actually work unless you could print on both sides.
With enough white space on it that you can draw marks onto the ruler and make a note. Or you can print a custom length strip that exactly matches the height of that spare room but also has the newspaper printed on it so you've something read whilst you travel to Fortress of Furniture.
For sartorial planning mishaps. Available in tied and un-tied versions.
Send messages that have images in them
Come on BERG, you can do this!
Print a single software development story on a message for a customer
The scrum/kanban software development team gives the customer a ticket with the current story printed on it, subtly reinforcing that idea it's impossible to deliver everything on the backlog in this sprint.
Can you use the paper to tell if your cheese bake is hot enough?
Fake my expenses
Obviously totally unethical to make or use, even if it were a premium service which gave the revenue to charity so your expenses theft from your employer has some sort of positive benefit. No.